Wii Baby Boxer

July 10, 2008

We just returned home from North the Mason Dixon Line after visiting our family and celebrating Baby Cakes’s first birthday.  Her mom, Sinder Ella, and DarlingDaddy just won a Wii set and had us old foggies whapping and slapping the air like idiots. Although my bowling score was awesome!!!

Turns out, Baby Cakes learned to slap the air, watching the parents obviously spending hours in front of the tube. It took us awhile to figure out why she would spradically flale her arms. At first, since she was eating her dinner, we thought she was choking. Turns out, when the boys flaled away, so did she.

Too cute, who needs cable when you have grandbabies, eh?

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Double Wide Pride…

July 10, 2008
Coolestchicontheplanet trailer steps

Coolestchicontheplanet trailer steps

I have a mondo bruise on my right arm. One would think I was in a back alley brawl with a surly guy named Rocky. However is a little more mondane than that.

You see, I am an honored owner of a “Double Wide”. In these parts, it is just normal chatter to ask, after you find out if someone built a new house…”is it a double wide?”  Which, I then reply, “well, not really, it’s a manufactured home, designed and processed in the confines of the great indoors, protecting all aspects of the building from the elements of the outdoors, thus eliminating things like mold, and insects.”

“Oh, it is a double-wide then” they reply. I suppose there is no way to fancy it up…it’s just a double-wide and I now have suscumbed to “double-wide pride”.

It was quite exciting in the beginning, choosing our design, carpets, colors, cabinets, and yes, even the appliances came with it.  Of course we chose stainless, quite elegant and modern for a “double-wide”.  But never did I dream that our modern manufactured home came with “trailer steps”. I imagined a medium sized wood deck with to-die-for patio furniture, umbrella and fire pit. But no, it only came with trailer steps. And only one set mind you. There are two other doors with dangerous drop offs that we never use. Heaven help us if we have to use them in case of fire. It would be “stop, drop and roll-dive” into the rocks that we call our lawn.

Now each step is only 7.5 inches wide, and although there are only 4 of them, it is still a challenge for a short person, arms loaded with groceries to balance on the step, open the lovely glass outer door, juggle keys to unlock the inner door, all during  60 mile and hour winds that keep whacking that lovely glass outer door at you nearly knocking you off your bird perch each time. Thus, the huge bruise on my arm.

I dream of the day I can glide up the steps of my covered southern deck with the gentle fan creating a soft breeze, set my groceries down, open the door, unlock it and carelessly walk into my double-wide with my packages.

Oh, and in case you are wondering….the pool noodle is to keep the door from crashing against the house during 70 mph winds. I have 3 more noodles in the hall closet, just in case this one rips off during the 80 mph winds.

I am often reminded of the “Green Acres” theme song of many years ago…..Farm living is the life for me…..and some where deep inside I really am beaming with “Double-Wide Pride”. It is my castle after all.


Curves Ahead

July 2, 2008

It’s turtle time in the Ozarks, which doesn’t mean much other than turtles are constantly trying to cross the roads. I don’t know who taught them to read, but they sure don’t go to the corner to cross, or cross with the lights. Oh, wait, there are no lights, and for that matter no corners either.

 coolestchicontheplanet

 

Turtles are all over here, in the Ozarks, and although I try hard to avoid them, my golden rule
is to not cause endangerment to the human species while trying to avoid a wildlife species.

I drive through three of these “curves” signs everyday I go to town, so to get home, there are
also three of them. I couldn’t decide if they were there for our safety or to let us know there are
“turtles in the road ahead, so drive like this”.

And, I don’t know, they aren’t very smart. There is a turtle in the road just a bit from our house,
I swear he’s been there 3 days. One morning he is headed one direction, on my way home he is headed the other direction. And bless his stupid little heart, later that day, he was headed straight down the double yellow strip. I really think he was totally confused, thinking he had to stay between
the yellow stipes.

I think it takes a turtle 5 days to get across a road, what with traffic  buzzing by, and the little guy jumps back into his shell, trying to decide if it is safe to come out again.
The only ones that keep going are those mondo snappers that I have seen as big as 18 inches across.
Those suckers would do some real damage to a motorcycle, not to mention my way overdriven, bald tires. I completely avoid those in fear of retaliation from it’s prehistoric relatives lurking in the woods
nearby ready to pounce.

I am told by the locals that turtles search out a different pond to lay their eggs in, then return to
their original pond, thus all the backpacking around here. That’s alot of luggage to drag around, if you ask me. I said, they must give birth to teenagers, they are pretty smart after all.

Speaking of curves in the road, ever feel like your curves in the road are just leading to a dangerous cliff ahead? Why is it that sometimes everything bad happens all at the same time? Well, if you look through the history books, it’s good to know you are not alone, and that those who stuck it out and navigated the dangerous curves, became, stronger, wiser, and a better person for it. Are you travelling dangerous curves right now? Can you see ahead to the better outcome?